According to Planned Parenthood, once a parent is aware that their teen is sexually active, ".....parents can make a difference. We can help our teens think about their relationships. We can talk with them about the relationship responsibilities they have. We can encourage them to always use birth control and practice safer sex. And we can reassure them that we will continue provide loving homes and work to build and maintain a good relationship with them."
But do the courts agree with that premise when custody issues are involved? When is allowing your teenager to have an intimate relationship constitute neglect? What is the effect on any younger children in the household?
Matter of Lawton v Lawton
2016 NY Slip Op 01216
Decided on February 18, 2016
Appellate Division, Third Department:
"Petitioner (hereinafter the father) and respondent (hereinafter the
mother) are the parents of two children (born in 2005 and 2006).
Although married, they have been separated since 2011. In accordance
with a verbal agreement, the mother had primary physical custody of the
children and the father had parenting time with them every other
weekend. In March 2013, the Schoharie County Department of Social
Services (hereinafter DSS)
filed a neglect petition against the mother for allowing her
16-year-old daughter — who is unrelated to the father — to have sex with
the 22-year-old son of the mother's boyfriend. In November 2013, the
mother consented to a fact-finding order wherein the 16-year-old child
and the children were adjudicated as neglected. Despite the
adjudication, the custodial arrangement between the parties continued.
In March 2014, the father filed a temporary emergency custody petition
based on his claim that the mother was unemployed and living in a hotel
with the children. In April 2014, DSS filed a second neglect petition
against the mother for allowing another daughter — a 15 year old also
unrelated to the father — to spend weekends overnight and engage in a
sexual relationship with that daughter's 16-year-old boyfriend. After a
number of appearances and after the mother filed a petition seeking
custody, a fact-finding hearing began in July 2014. After hearing
testimony from the father, his fiancée and the mother and after a
[*2]Lincoln hearing, Family Court granted joint legal custody to the
parties, primary physical custody to the father and parenting time to
the mother every weekend and on Wednesdays after school. The mother now
appeals.
The focus in an initial custody determination is the best interests
of the children, which involves consideration of factors including "the
parents' past performance and relative fitness, their willingness to
foster a positive relationship between the child[ren] and the other
parent, as well as their ability to maintain a stable home environment
and provide for the child[ren]'s overall well-being" (Matter of Adams v
Morris, 111 AD3d 1069, 1069-1070 [2013]; accord Matter of Daniel TT. v
Diana TT., 127 AD3d 1514, 1514-1515 [2015]; Matter of Jarren S. v
Shaming T., 117 AD3d 1109, 1110 [2014]). The children's wishes should be
considered but are not dispositive (see Rumpff v Schorpp, 133 AD3d
1109, 1113 [2015]; Matter of Rivera v LaSalle, 84 AD3d 1436, 1438
[2011]). Because Family Court has the best ability to assess the
witnesses' demeanor and credibility, we will not disturb a custody
determination unless it lacks a sound and substantial basis in the
record (see Matter of Daniel TT. v Diana TT., 127 AD3d at 1515; Matter
of Kayla Y. v Peter Z., 125 AD3d 1126, 1127 [2015]).
Here, as Family Court noted, the mother had been the children's
primary caregiver, but the father had taken on a more active role since
the neglect adjudication. Further, the record indicates that, although
the mother had found a job and an apartment by the time of the
fact-finding hearing, she was unemployed and living with the children in
a hotel when the father filed his petition. By comparison, the father
testified that he had been working at the same job for nearly six years
and had been living in the same apartment with his fiancée for nearly
two years. He testified that the children were sharing a room, but that
he was looking into purchasing a home to provide more space for the
children and the 10-month-old child that he had with his fiancée.
We are not persuaded by the mother's argument, joined by the attorney
for the children, that Family Court placed too much emphasis on the
neglect adjudication. The incident underlying the neglect adjudication
reflected a serious lack of judgment — a point that the mother conceded
and was continuing to work to address (see Matter of Rosetta BB. v
Joseph DD., 125 AD3d 1205, 1206 [2015]). Based on the record, we agree
with the court's view that it was faced with the dilemma of "choosing
between two less than perfect household situations." In such a case, it
is particularly important to defer to the court's determination (see
Matter of Windom v Pemberton, 119 AD3d 999, 999 [2014]). Based on the
record as a whole, we conclude that Family Court's determination to
award primary physical custody to the father — without prejudice to the
mother's application for a modification upon the termination of the
second neglect proceeding — has sound and substantial support in the
record."
Note: the teenagers who the mother allowed to be sexually active were the half-sisters of the younger children who were subject to the custody case.